my honey

Today I walk into my honey's hospital room and there are more concerns.  His lung has partially collapsed. 

After all of this I recognize how much I love my husband.  I always have loved him and he knew it.  I handed him my heart in high school.  We never did the on again/ off again dating like other high school kids.  We were always solid.  Still are.

The missing of things is hard. 

I miss his silly sore, his warmth in bed beside me, the dirty socks all around the floor, and the way the dogs run through the house to greet him.

I miss his ice cold feet on my leg when lying in bed, the scent of his hair, the silly back and forth of when we are both trying to cook, and the way he scrolls through Netflix for 'hours' when it is really only minutes.

I miss hearing him call my silly woman, the feel of his hand holding mine with strength, the joy in his laugh, the groan when he hears Christmas music, and the all of the everyday little things that make our marriage what it is.

Right now I am honoring my vow of through sickness and health, through better or for worse.  I don't mind it.  I like being there for him.  I HATE that he is sick and hurting.  I just want to make it better and I can't.

He will be home and well soon.  Soon is in God's time.  That I must remember.  This is all in God's hands.  This does not negate that I should advocate for him, help the honey up and down, walk him through the hospital, leave him to the quite of a room for a time, etc.

Right now, I have learned, that I am all he wants.  He likes it when I am with him and he always wants my hugs. Apparently, I am the best thing since sliced bread.  i can handle that happily.

However, he also wants me to come home and rest.  He is right, but it is so hard.

So, in summary, I love him, he loves me, we miss each other, and all in God's time.

xox